Hardware

Joy Ryan, President/CEO

At some point in their childhoods and teenage years, my three children started bringing home “hardware.” Their ribbons, medals, and trophies filled drawers and hooks and shelves. Some indicated excellence, others celebrated teamwork, and a few were for showing up! (I know there are many opinions about participation ribbons, but I remember an old boss telling me, “The world is run by those who show up!”)

All of them were important.

Not because they won, or didn’t, but as tangible evidence of their effort, progress, and identity. They earned them. Over time, they each relegated their hardware to bins stacked in storeroom corners. Sometimes they “released” it.

The hardware served its purpose in a time of important and challenging personal development.

Children who come to Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch are trauma survivors. Even the most athletic, gifted, or artistic seldom received ribbons and medals. Their identity has been based on survival and vigilance. You don’t get trophies for that.

So, at the Ranch, we find ways for them to build their own treasure trove of evidence—proof of their effort, progress, and identity.

One of the ways we do this is at weekly Town Hall meetings, one on each campus, where we discuss schedules and expectations, invite the kids to present their ideas, and hold an awards ceremony. Throughout the week, Ranch staff nominate kids for awards like Clean Room, Good Citizen, Rockstar Rancher, Group All Star, and Growth Champion. With each nomination, they include the reason the child is worthy of that award. The nominees are posted in the kids’ living spaces, and they place their votes on good old slips of paper.

I asked Dr. Hannah Baczynski, our Therapy Manager, and Amber Nelson, Therapy Lead, about the therapeutic impact of the Town Hall awards. Their answers are not in therapy terms, but about children being children.

“When we read off the nominations and the reasons for them, everyone applauds, and the children look so proud,” Dr. Baczynski said. “One of my favorite moments is when the winner of Rockstar Rancher is a kid who has a negative view of themselves and doesn’t believe they are good or deserve good things. Their look is generally a mixture of shock, confusion, pride, and joy. It’s almost like they won an Oscar. Those are the kids we talk about after Town Hall. ‘Did you see that kid and how amazed they were at winning?’ Most of the kids hang their certificates in their rooms, and most cast votes for their peers most weeks. We get to celebrate the behaviors we want to see while generating a bit of positive competition, which keeps things moving forward.”

Amber Nelson added, “I enjoy giving out the awards every week. On Mondays, youth often stop me in the hall or come to my office to ask if they won anything this week. It is so cool to see kids hang their awards up in their rooms, cheer for each other, and support one another in their treatment. Several youth have told me their goal is to get Group All Star and/or Rock Star Rancher. One kiddo kept a running tally of the weeks she was awarded Group All Star and was disappointed when she didn’t get Growth Champion—which was a teaching moment. It is also cool to see the smile on a kid’s face in family therapy or a discharge planning meeting when you give them kudos for an award they won!”

For a child who has been abused, neglected, trafficked, or victimized, every little moment and action makes a difference.

Sometimes it is in the hardware.

Please keep the precious children and staff of Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch in your prayers.