Saving grace

Concerned about children leaving the Ranch without follow-up care and a lack of community services to prevent children from needing residential treatment, Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch founded Dakota Family Services (DFS) in 2005. It has evolved over the years, and now DFS clinics in Minot and Fargo, ND, provide outpatient counseling and psychiatric services to children, adolescents, and adults.

Their work with Ranch kids and their families has allowed Dakota Family Services’ providers to develop unprecedented skills and techniques to meet the needs of children who have complex trauma, psychiatric, and behavioral challenges. They are the best of the best, and other professionals in the mental health community often refer to DFS when a child’s diagnosis and behaviors exceed their expertise and experience.

While residential care is sometimes the best option to keep a child safe and provide them with tools for healing, the Ranch and Dakota Family Services are committed to helping children live in the community. Anne Friederichs and her family are one example of who Dakota Family Services was designed to serve.

Anne Friederichs was introduced to Dakota Family Services by a friend. They were talking one day and realized their children were dealing with some of the same challenges.

“Our oldest daughter was born with generalized anxiety. She was very introverted and scared of the world,” Anne said. “We couldn’t go anywhere without spending 20 minutes telling her every single detail about where we were going and what we were doing. Then it’d take her another 20 minutes to get ready. If we said something like, ‘Just get in the car. What’s the big deal?,’ it would start all over again, and we’d have to get through another 20 minutes of strong emotions.”

Anne said their daughter would have moments where she was awesome, but the hard times were really hard, and when she started school, it got worse. They were walking on eggshells, and the tension was beginning to affect their two younger daughters.

They had tried therapy, but it wasn’t working. Anne and her husband, Troy, felt they had done everything to help their eight-year-old daughter, but when a friend highly recommended Dakota Family Services, they decided to give it a try.

When they walked into the DFS clinic seven years ago, Anne said they felt welcomed and accepted.

“We didn’t feel self-conscious or judged. Just sitting in the waiting room is therapeutic,” Anne said. “It feels good to be there.”

They did psychological testing and started seeing therapist Christy Wilkie, who had worked exclusively with children at the Ranch before moving to Dakota Family Services to expand her impact to children through outpatient services.

Anne said, “She met with Christy weekly, and it made a big difference. Christy would ask her what it felt like when she walked into school. Or what it felt like when someone she didn’t know was talking to her. She helped her label those thoughts and feelings, normalize them, and to stop and think before she reacted.”

They also had regular appointments with Dr. Wayne Martinsen, psychiatrist at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch and Dakota Family Services.

“Dr. Martinsen is an incredible person and is highly intelligent in his field,” Anne said. “He communicates on a normal level, so I understand what he is saying. He doesn’t doctor it up too much, and he doesn’t give up. He has stuck with us through this whole process.”

The providers at Dakota Family services wrapped the entire family in care. The three girls see Christy and Dr. Martinsen, and Anne sees a therapist as well. The DFS team has adjusted as the girls moved into different developmental stages and needed different things.

“It’s healthy to take care of your mental health, and there is no shame in getting help. Our communication is better. We are learning to talk to each other differently,” Anne said. “We can say, ‘I’m having a really anxious moment right now and need to take a breather.’ Troy and I have learned to have open conversations. We are more accepting and compassionate of each other. Thanks to Dakota Family Services, I am more confident in the choices we are making for our family.”

“This is our life. It’s the life we are meant to have, and I wouldn’t change it. It’s been a journey. We’ve had some interesting times, but the good always overshadows the bad. Dakota Family Services has been a saving grace for our entire family.”