“I’m not ready for that yet. I need to get a little stronger.” A 12-year-old girl said that to me, as we were visiting one day about the work she was doing in treatment at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch. She had mentioned, as she was coloring, that she didn’t feel comfortable yet with male staff around… “because, you know, of sex stuff, abuse, I went through when I was little.”…
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We count everything at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch. Almost. We are a psychiatric medical facility, high-performing school, charity, retail thrift store operation, and outpatient clinic. There are lots of things to count. So, when we pull together metrics for reporting, accreditation, board meetings, licensing, and audits, we have many to choose from.…
My mom and dad were farmers. My dad also had a creative side. He had the most amazing handwriting with flourishes and curls. He was an expert woodworker and a lovely storyteller. Spelling was not his forte, so he approached that, too, with great creativity. My mom was an exceptional cook, and loved the precision of following a recipe. She was a good farmer. She was great at math, spelling, and memorization. I remember her learning the capitals of countries in Africa along with me. She was not fiercely creative.…
Medical and psychiatric care is ongoing for children at the Ranch. So is education. In the summer, education at Dakota Memorial School, our on-site school, takes on a different structure. Part of the day is spent in SPARKS. SPARKS is run by our wellness team. These activities focus on life skills, extracurricular opportunities, social skills, and physical health. In short, it teaches children to play and work in healthy ways.…
My parents were children during the Great Depression of the 1930s. Like most people who grew up in those grueling times, they learned to save everything. I grew up washing bread bags (when we had the rare store-bought bread), folding tin foil, saving soap bar shreds to use for laundry… all of those things.…
A while back, I was having trouble sleeping. It went on for several nights. Anyone who lasts in a trauma-focused work environment will tell you that you need to implement personal protective measures to keep yourself healthy. The stories and pain you see and hear, whether at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch, a hospital Emergency Room, a homeless shelter, or the bedside of a hospice patient, can eat at your faith in God and humanity.…
I am ignorant about a lot of things. Please don’t read that wrong. To me, “ignorant” means that I lack knowledge or information about particular subjects. I still find television somewhat mystical. When I was little, I thought that if we cut the cable that ran from the antenna to the TV, we would see a little tiny version of the television picture in the cut end coming from the antenna.…
I miss my mother-in-law… especially on the Fourth of July. When she passed away last year, she was well into her 90s. She did not lead an easy life, but she decided to lead a happy one.…
I know I write a lot about the complexity of the lives of the children who come to Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch. The stories are all true. These kids have endured so much. Sometimes, the simplicity of their needs is heartbreaking.…
I'm usually pretty good at focusing, but this week I found myself pausing my work to see what all the oohing and ahhing outside my office door was about. We had just received two boxes of handmade quilts from friends in Arizona, and they were being unpacked. The folks from surrounding offices were holding them up and admiring them. In addition to the beautiful quilting, they had a lot of precise appliqué work, which gave several of them themes. Butterflies, Mario Cart, Harry Potter, Cats… one prettier than the next.…
I think it is important to occasionally give you a look “behind the curtain.” How do we talk to each other at the Ranch? How do we get work done? How do we really feel about working with the kids? Sure, I tell you all the time they are precious and complicated. But, is that the way we talk about them when we are just talking to each other?…
Today, I received a short note from a couple who have supported the kids at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch for the last four years. In their note, they asked us to remove them from our mailing list because they felt that the medical expertise we bring to our work has made us too "secular.”…
What do you plan to get done today? Most of us set daily, mini-goals. On a regular day, mine might look something like this. Get up, shower, empty the dishwasher, switch around laundry, head to work, write emails, answer emails, write reports, resolve issues, write thank you notes, go to the gym, work out even though you don’t like to, drive home, make dinner, fold laundry, call my brother, do Wordle, clean the kitchen……
In an article about unsung heroes, I read about a woman named Caitlin Shetterly. She was early in her first pregnancy and was taking a flight from the West Coast to Maine. It wasn’t too long after the horrors of 911, and she was a nervous flyer. As they got ready for takeoff, she turned to the passenger sitting next to her and asked, “Do you ever get nervous?”…
Since preschool, Hunter struggled to regulate his emotions, follow directions, and thrive in school. On top of his academic and behavioral challenges, Hunter's family life was rocky. An emotionally abusive dad made his hurdles feel all the more impossible to overcome.…
Although it was quite a long time ago, I remember some details from my high school graduation. I grew up on a farm outside a small town in Eastern North Dakota. Our town was situated in a nest of small towns, and each one had its own school. In a move that was ahead of its time, people came together to build a high school out in the country. It was roughly equal distance from each of the surrounding towns, so it could not be overly influenced by any. The new, very modern (at the time) building opened as I entered first grade.…
We are impacted every day, whether we know it or not, by Artificial Intelligence (AI). Last night, the Alexa device in my kitchen asked me if it was time to re-order dog food from Amazon. It was time, and I did. That is one of the more innocuous intrusions of AI, and it made my life easier.…
I have shared before that Chaplain Rick Jones, Vice President of Spiritual Life at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch, writes daily devotions for staff at the Ranch. Reading them are some of the best moments of my days, as they give me a chance to center and wrap myself in the warmth of knowing we are doing God’s work. And why.…
The last time I saw Sam he was a 15-year-old boy with heavy, black framed glasses wearing an ill-fitting suit. He had on an old-fashioned necktie with a big knot and dress shoes that were too big. He solemnly shook my hand and said, “I’m going to do good, Joy.” I got kind of teary and told him I truly believed he could. Then he left.…
“HE IS RISEN!!” That’s what Chaplain Rick Jones yells as he runs through the Chapel at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch before the Easter Service begins. There is no mistaking that this is about the Resurrection. This is a celebration of Christ conquering sin and death and opening the door for us all to have a new life in Him.…
In working with children recovering from trauma, it is so important to celebrate every win! When children have been broken, they have a difficult time recognizing when they are doing well. Every time someone points out a strength or a good decision, it fills, bit by bit, the holes that abuse and neglect left in their soul.…
Scott Fitzgerald, of “The Great Gatsby” fame, is often credited with a potent quote. “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”…
I have a lot of nurses in my family. My sister is a nurse. She’s retired but she specialized in cardiac research. My husband has seven siblings, three were nurses. One was the head of trauma nursing at her hospital, the other two worked in long-term care. We have many nurses at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch. Obviously, whenever I or someone I love seeks medical care, nurses are involved.…
At Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch, we work hard to fill that deficit. Our on-site school, Dakota Memorial School, puts special effort into literacy and expression and comprehension. In therapy, our therapists are specially trained to ensure kids comprehend the things they are learning. In Spiritual Life, we use Action Bibles, in graphic form, to help children grasp the concepts of life choices, values, and the love of Christ.…
Sam made quite an impression on me when I met him. I was just months into my time at the Ranch when I traveled from Fargo to Minot for our annual plant sale. I met him in the greenhouse where I was helping get ready for the sale.…