When I was a child, Vacation Bible Experience (VBX) wasn't a thing in my hometown. Now I see placards and signs near every church I drive by, inviting children to spend a week with Jesus. We have VBX at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch, too. For one week during the summer, our Spiritual Life Team, led by Chaplain Rick Jones, creates a themed environment where the children learn about Him, the Word, and all the important things —like love, compassion, mercy, kindness, and faith. Our kids are not required to attend, but most do.
The kids love the VBX Scavenger Hunt Day. We place the children into small teams. Each team is given a clue about a Ranch employee. They have to figure out who that person is and find them at their work. The employee then offers the children a piece of life advice and hands them the next clue. Each team does the route in a different order, and the team that gets done first gets a slightly better snack than the other teams… probably with more sugar.
Handshakes are an important life skill, so that's the advice I was prepared to share. As usual with these kids, it opened a door to way more than simple handshaking.
The kids came in groups of four. When they stepped into my office and got situated (they were in a hurry to win, so there was lots of antsy moving around), I asked Aiden, one of our wonderful staff, to step up next to me. We showed them how you grasp hands with the skin between your thumb and pointer finger touching. You close your hand around the other person’s with firm pressure, but not too much. Most importantly, you look the other person in the eye, and in most cases, smile.
That’s a lot for these children. Voluntarily touching a stranger, looking someone in the eye, smiling at someone you don’t know—all things these kids have learned to avoid. It could be dangerous. When you have been hurt and abused, connecting with others is incredibly difficult. Trust is hard-earned.
Yet, each child stepped up and shook my hand. (Don’t forget, they wanted to win.) They also shared their comments as we had our handshake.
“My uncle always squishes my hand.”
“My hands are clammy.”
“What if their hands are dirty?”
“The old guys in my family always want to shake hands.”
“Why aren’t fist bumps enough?”
“My mom hates shaking hands.”
“What if they won’t let go?”
“You must shake hands a lot.”
Phil, a quiet, large, sixteen-year-old with a lifetime of abandonment, quietly took my hand, looked me in the eyes, and said, “Hello, I’m Phil.”
Since that day, I reach my hand out for a handshake as I pass any of the children who were part of the lessons. It’s fun. Sometimes they dodge my outstretched hand. Sometimes they high-five.
Phil has accepted my handshake each time, looked me in the eye, and smiled.
Please keep the precious children and amazing staff of Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch in your prayers.
In His love,
Joy Ryan, President/CEO
Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch
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