How many of you remember your childhood chores with fondness? I certainly don't! Cleaning my room, taking out the trash, vacuuming, or emptying the dishwasher took time away from the fun things I would have much rather been doing. As an adult, I realize my parents knew something I didn't when they impressed on me the importance of doing chores—and it wasn't just them wanting me to do all the work!
At the Ranch, we expect all residents to complete daily chores. In addition to teaching essential life skills they may not have learned at home (like cooking, cleaning, setting the table, and doing laundry) and ensuring their shared living space is comfortable and clean, daily chores give children a sense of purpose, help them feel more competent and responsible, and build relationships through teamwork.
Tim Gienger, Director of Clinical Care at the Ranch, says motivating our kids to do chores is not always easy.
"For some of our kids who haven't had any responsibilities in the home, chores can lead to anxiety and dysregulation," Tim said. "Other kids who come from homes where they were running the household and caring for their siblings may feel like the skills they already have aren't valued. Regardless of where kids are at in their skill development, Ranch staff teach them basic living skills through role modeling, patience, and even by negotiating with kids who try to get out of doing their chores."
Common daily chores include tidying their room; sweeping and mopping floors; dusting furniture; emptying the garbage; and wiping down sinks, toilets, bathtubs, and mirrors. On the weekly deep clean day, kids and staff do more in-depth cleaning of the cottage, especially in the kids' bedrooms.
We find many ways to motivate and encourage our kids to do their chores. Working alongside them—teaching and providing positive feedback—is the first step in motivating kids to do their chores. A little encouragement goes a long way. We give kids some choice in the chores they complete and when they complete them, which helps to minimize power struggles and fights. And, if they complete their chores, they earn a weekly allowance. They can use their allowance on outings or save it to purchase something special—giving them the added benefit of learning how to manage their money.
Although chores aren't always fun, the benefits are hard to ignore. Through repetition and reinforcement, chores can strengthen relationships and improve self-esteem. They create a sense of community and connection as everyone in the family (or in the cottage) works together towards a common goal. The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry notes that "children who do chores may exhibit high self-esteem, be more responsible, and be better equipped to deal with frustration, adversity, and delayed gratification," as well as have "greater success in school, work, and relationships."
I know I didn't make it easy on my parents when it came to getting my chores done, but I'm thankful for their persistence. I am a much healthier and more responsible adult for having done them.
Thank you, Mom and Dad.
This article was originally published in Ranch Voice: Summer 2023.
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