It’s a “Hug Card.”
It looks just like one of those “loyalty cards” you get when you buy 5 sub sandwiches and get a 6th one free.
But, it’s for hugs.
Belle is a very small child, even for a 10-year-old. She smiles easily. Her dark blond hair is pretty messy most of the time and she rarely stops moving. She speaks clearly and calmly and looks you straight in the eye when she talks.
She has lots of experiences to overcome. Way too many for an adult, much less a 10-year-old. She has had to navigate the world and find ways to meet her own needs with little guidance or comfort. One of the behaviors she has developed is getting in other people’s space, a lot. She bumps people, leans into others, stands so that her body is just barely touching someone next to her, lays her head on staff shoulders, and sometimes hits or kicks out without warning. Others, appropriately, feel uncomfortable with her unexpected closeness so it causes a lot of conflict and, often, a sense of rejection for Belle.
A long-term Rancher was present for one of Belle’s events regarding personal space. As she waited for Belle to calm down, she remembered that every behavior has a purpose and thought about what that might be for Belle. It seemed to her that what Belle was asking for was personal touch. Everyone needs to be touched appropriately, even if there has been bad touch in the past. Research study after research study shows that human touch is healing… physically, emotionally, spiritually. Anyone who has ever had their hand held when they are ill knows what I’m saying. It is even more important for a young, developing child.
She asked Belle, “It seems like you might need a hug. Do you like hugs?”
“Yes,” Belle answered. “I like hugs a lot.”
“How many hugs do you think you need a day?”
“Umm… about 29, I think,” Belle answered.
The Rancher explained that hugs can only come from staff, and only staff who are comfortable giving hugs. You have to ask for and receive permission for hugs. Belle nodded.
Which led to the “Hug Card," with space for 29 hugs. When Belle asks for and receives a hug, she checks it off on her card. It's okay if it goes over 29. She receives a new Hug Card each day.
Last evening I got to give Belle my first hug. I am pretty sure it was as important for me as it was for her.
Please keep our kids and staff in your prayers.
In His love,
Joy Ryan, President/CEO
Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch
Sign up today to receive ministry updates and stories about our precious kids directly to your inbox!