16-year-old Avalon is a kind, gentle, and talented young woman, despite the challenges that brought her to the Ranch. She was born in Nebraska as the youngest of 12 siblings and moved to North Dakota in 2016. It was a blended family, and second marriages for both her parents, who had each had the pain of losing their first spouse to cancer.
As a child, Avalon endured multiple traumas.
"When I hit my teenage years, that's when the depression started," she said. "I have struggled with chronic depression; suicidal tendencies, thoughts, and actions; and self-harm. That's pretty much what brought me to the Ranch."
While Avalon struggles in school, saying she has a "much more creative than academic mind," she is a very talented musician. She has been making and producing music since she was 10, and her talent quickly became apparent to Deaconess Kelly Bristow when Avalon volunteered to play piano at the Ranch's weekly chapel services.
"When I first heard Avalon sing, I was blown away! She has a gorgeous voice and a rare knack for harmonies. As I spent more time with her, I swiftly found out that she has a strong natural talent for all things music, as she could pick out any tune on the piano (using both hands!), guitar, and drums; and she quickly figured out the bass guitar. Avalon also had a quiet but great sense of humor and was a joy to be around. It was so neat to see her grow so much in her confidence and skill as she helped lead music for our weekly chapel services at the Ranch, and even joined my local church's praise band a few times."
Singing in front of a group was way outside of Avalon's comfort zone, but with the support of Deaconess Kelly, her therapist, her teachers, and everyone else at the Ranch, she did it! And it was beautiful. Avalong said opportunities to learn and grow with her music are one of the things about the Ranch that really made a difference for her.
"Music with Deaconess Kelly brought a bit of home to the Ranch," Avalon said. "It was really nice to have a place to get away from the hard parts of treatment and have that creative outlet of playing the piano, playing the guitar, and learning so much."
Her work with Deaconess Kelly built her confidence and skills to the point where she now dreams of attending the Berkeley School of Music after high school.
Avalon is very proud of the progress she has made in getting to know herself and getting insight into her feelings.
"I have a lot more insight on how I process my feelings," Avalon said, "just an overall better sense of who I am. I worked with my therapist on how to handle difficult feelings and emotions with more ease. I'm learning how to ground myself in the moment through DBT [Dialectical Behavior Therapy]—basically just recognizing the feelings and being able to ground myself before they escalate. I can be prepared for those situations instead of resorting to cutting or self-harming, which I had a really big problem with."
In addition to individual therapy, Avalon and her parents participated in family therapy at the Ranch.
"That went really well," Avalon said. "It's basically just focusing on how my parents help keep me safe. I would tell them I wanted to self-harm or kill myself and they had no idea what to do, which is a really bad situation for all of us. Now they are learning to recognize my triggers and working on ways they can help."
Because of the Ranch's well-rounded approach to treatment, Avalon also had the opportunity to work with an occupational therapist who helped her discover some sensitivities to lighting.
"I get really uncomfortable around bright lights and it can spark headaches," Avalon said. "I never found that out until I came here and got some LED lights in my room that really helped. I don't have headaches anymore!"
While it was tough, Avalon was determined to make the most of her time at the Ranch—to push forward, do the work, and try her best. She knows treatment is not supposed to be fun but said she had experiences at the Ranch that she wouldn't get anywhere else.
"The Ranch gives you a lot of outside time, a lot of exercise, a lot more opportunities. Just overall, you have a lot of people working with you. It's like everybody here is like holding you steady or pushing you forward," Avalon said.
She is also aware that none of those things would be possible without the thousands of Ranch donors across the country.
"I would like to meet some of the people who donate money to the Ranch," she said. "Their money is helping. It matters a lot and they are really good people. Like to help kids and support this facility for kids and families in need, that's incredible. I am really thankful for them."
This article was originally published in Ranch Voice: Winter 2022.
Read more stories like this and explore other issues of Ranch Voice here.