"This place is amazing. My son spent four months at the Ranch in Fargo and is a completely different kid. He still struggles but he is more self-motivated and succeeding at Dakota Memorial School. Had I not made this heartbreaking decision in his best interests, I would have lost my son. Thank you for being there!" Lexi Hauge on the Ranch's Facebook page
Lexi Hauge said her 16-year-old son, Hudson, has struggled since preschool.
"He had a lot of oppositional behaviors. He would argue with you, refuse to comply, and simply shut down. Authority has always been a struggle for him," Lexi said.
At age 10, Hudson was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, but Lexi takes responsibility for her part in Hudson's struggles.
"Some of the ways I dealt with my children when they were young were probably unhealthy and traumatic for them," Lexi said. "I was struggling with my own demons and wasn't as hands-on or emotionally supportive as I could have been."
Lexi said she has been in abusive relationships, which has been emotionally and mentally damaging for her children.
When Hudson was 15, Lexi was at a breaking point.
"I knew if I didn't step up to the plate and work on things now, it would be too late to reach him. I was tired of therapists, doctors, and calling the school because he refused to go," Lexi said. "I needed to do something drastic. Placing Hudson at the Ranch was the most difficult decision I've ever made, hands down."
At the Ranch, Hudson discovered that he has control over his life and how it turns out; and that there are consequences for his choices. Lexi said the Ranch taught him skills she was afraid he wasn't ever going to be able to grasp—social and relationship skills, as well as tools to manage and control how he responds to what is going on around him.
Lexi said the family therapy she and Hudson did while he was in treatment was the most emotional thing she has ever endured, but so worth it.
"We were able to focus on our relationship as mother and son and have gotten closer," she said. "I admire Hudson's perseverance and resilience. He rose above time and time again over all the things that should have broken him. And I love his wit and sarcasm. He is so quick-witted he catches me off guard sometimes."
Hudson continues to attend Dakota Memorial School (DMS), the Ranch's on-campus school, as a Day Student and has learned to advocate for himself. During a meeting at this home school, Hudson told his education team it was in his best interest to stay at DMS and convinced them to let him continue as a DMS Day Student. He went from hating school to enjoying it and working hard to be successful.
Last spring, Hudson got a job working with the Ranch facilities team. In addition to some janitorial work and landscaping, Hudson worked in the Ranch kitchen prepping food, serving meals, and doing dishes and other cleanup.
Jeremy, a Ranch cook, said, "Hudson liked to joke around with the staff and kids. He said he enjoyed working here and that it kept his mind active. We like having him—he was a hard worker."
"I look at the kids who just a year ago didn't want to be here and saw no hope for his future. He didn't have any goals or dreams," Lexi said. "When he came home after four months at the Ranch, it was like there was light in him I hadn't seen since he was a baby. He is just a different person. He is happy. The Ranch saved my son and our relationship. I thank everyone at the Ranch so much for the effort they put into bettering the lives of kids and their families."
This article was originally published in Ranch Voice: Summer 2023.
Read more stories like this and explore other issues of Ranch Voice here.