Unfortunately, the children at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch have to learn to live in the "real world."
These kids have been abused, neglected, and traumatized. Their world has been an aberration of the real world. Most children are not hit on a daily basis, or raped, or go hungry for days on end. Most children run into bumps and scratches and icky situations, but they aren’t constantly, unremittingly, abused.
The Ranch is not the real world either. Here, they are with a cohort of children who have had similar experiences. They share the experience of working to heal. We listen to them and give them voice and choice. We give them their meals on time and protect them from the digital and social media threats that boil in the world. They exercise, have clothes appropriate for the weather (which, as I write this, is 18 below in North Dakota), celebrate their birthdays, and have amazing, attentive, ongoing education and healthcare. We work hard to shut down nastiness in their lives… wherever it comes from. That’s not the real world.
So slowly, as they are ready for it, we start integrating more and more outside experiences into their care.
Recently, two Ranch staff took three of our boys to an indoor trampoline park. It was a great chance for them to practice the behaviors and social skills they had learned. It was also supposed to be fun. All three of these boys come from poverty and have never had these kinds of experiences. They’ve also learned to use their fists to protect themselves, but at the Ranch, they are learning that isn’t always the answer. They were prepared and on their best behavior! This was going to be great!
Then, they got to the venue. Staff notes tell us what happened next.
“Once we arrived at the trampoline park, a group of teenage boys began making negative comments to our boys. The boys disengaged and spoke to me and the other Rancher about their frustrations. We encouraged them to stay disengaged and avoid conflict. They did all they could to avoid the other group of boys. I spoke to the park staff two times about my concerns and how the other boys continued to antagonize our kids. The park staff were not very helpful at all, so we kept a close eye on the situation. The boys became discouraged and spent a lot of time sitting on the bench. We gave them constant praise during this time because we knew how hard they were working to ignore the other kids. We praised them for utilizing their coping skills and avoiding conflict. Then we treated them to gas station slushies before returning to campus! PLEASE PRAISE THEM WHEN YOU SEE THEM! THIS WAS HUGE FOR THEM! I am so very proud of these boys tonight.”
I feel pain in my gut when I read about our kids being picked on. But, that is the real world. They will have to navigate this stuff when they leave the Ranch. And they did it! Really well!
Yes, and got slushies!
These kids are trying so hard. Please keep them and our remarkable staff in your prayers.
In His love,
Joy Ryan, President/CEO
Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch
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