Three goals

Three goals

Three goals

What do you plan to get done today?

Most of us set daily, mini-goals. On a regular day, mine might look something like this.

Get up, shower, empty the dishwasher, switch around laundry, head to work, write emails, answer emails, write reports, resolve issues, write thank you notes, go to the gym, work out even though you don’t like to, drive home, make dinner, fold laundry, call my brother, do Wordle, clean the kitchen…

Most of our daily goals aren't very exciting, but we have learned to complete them somewhat automatically. We have been taught by our parents and role models and teachers to think about what we will get done that day. Sometimes it is a really big thing, like getting married or starting a new job. But, most of the time, they are small goals that progress toward larger goals about how we want to live our lives.

Many children at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch haven't had role models for goal setting, minor or major. Sometimes it is because the family’s only goal, day after day, is to survive. Abject poverty is all-consuming. Sometimes it is because their caregivers are mostly absent, or impaired in some way. Sometimes, it is the mental health issues of the people they live with.

Polly lived a subsistence life with her grandfather, who was a practicing, chronic alcoholic. He loved Polly as well as he could. He had not held a steady job since he was fired from working on the lunch line in Polly’s school for coming to work drunk. His days started and ended with whatever was cheap that week at the liquor store. Polly’s dad and mom were both in prison. Mom for selling drugs. Dad for selling drugs and trying to kill Mom in a methamphetamine rage.

In addition to the chaos and trauma she has lived through, Polly carries the effects of the multiple drugs she ingested while in her mother’s womb.

Despite it all, Polly is really a sweet kid. She says “Hi,” and volunteers to help. She wants to be liked. She is chronically depressed and anxious. She often wants to kill herself, and has been hospitalized many times. Going to school has been rare. Her grammar, swearing, and use of nasty words are horrendous—because that is all she has known.

Polly has certainly never seen anyone get up in the morning and ask themselves, “What will I get done today?”

But now, with incredible compassion and patience and respect and treatment, she is learning how.

Earlier this week, Elsie, Polly’s primary Residential Treatment Specialist, shared this, “I wanted to share with everyone that Polly is having an awesome day! She came to me this morning and said she had three goals for the day:

  1. Not curse
  2. Not say the N word
  3. Make three people smile!

I expressed how proud I was of her and how phenomenal those goals were! 🙂

That’s a pretty good start!

Please keep the children and staff of Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch in your prayers…this week, especially Polly.

His love,

Joy Ryan, President/CEO
Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch


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