Dr. Louis Cozolino is a well-respected American psychologist with a list of degrees longer than my arm. The State University of New York, Harvard University, and UCLA all count him among their alumni. He is a professor at Pepperdine, a profile writer, and YouTube creator, and he runs a clinical and consulting practice. It is always reassuring to me when I share the perspective of a "big brain" person like Dr. Cozolino.
“Children who come to be designated as unteachable are usually fighting a heroic battle for survival."
His words made me think of Evan. Evan's young life had been filled with bullying. His adoptive mother and father reminded him each day that he was really their nephew, not “their” kid. They hadn’t asked for him, didn’t want him, could send him away, and wished they’d never agreed to take him in. The abuse and neglect Evan experienced at home spilled over to school. His hygiene was awful, he was often tired and hungry, his clothes were shabby and unwashed. He was a perfect target for bullies looking for an easy win. He was taunted, beaten up, and ignored… by kids, and sadly, even by some teachers. He was also a prime target for drug sellers, whose offerings promised to take the edge off of his pain.
Evan started to use the drugs offered to him. They numbed his feelings and helped him block out the hate he felt all around and within. When he wasn’t using, he was withdrawn and uncommunicative. He went to school to escape his home, but he was completely shut down. He had multiple suicide attempts. He was deemed unteachable.
Evan was removed from the custody of his aunt and uncle and came to Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch straight from a psychiatric hospital. He didn’t want to be here. Actually, he didn’t want to be anywhere. His depression and despair and worthlessness were so strong that he was exhausted with life. Only that underlying human instinct for survival kept him holding on.
The age of a high school sophomore, Evan read at a third-grade level. His math skills were rudimentary. Every other education indicator was so low that it was hard to measure.
At the Ranch, Evan attended our trauma-sensitive school, Dakota Memorial School. As he was exposed to literacy enrichment, his reading skills grew quickly. He was sober, and through that clarity began to see amazing things in science class. He learned how to care for his body, and his hygiene improved. He kept his clothes, clothes that were all his, clean. He got medication for his depression and therapy to address his trauma.
He recaptured a seven-year deficit in learning in two years. He graduated. He went to welding school. He’s doing well.
Evan was not unteachable. Evan is a heroic survivor.
Please keep the children and staff of Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch in your prayers.
In His love,
Joy Ryan, President/CEO
Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch
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