It is a pretty irrefutable statement that we all communicate differently.
We send and receive messages in the context they make sense to us, based on our experiences. I would guess that you, and certainly I, have occasionally had to say, “That’s not at all what I meant. What I was trying to say is….”
That communication challenge can be even bigger for children at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch. Because they have often been hurt by people who are supposed to love them, the way they hear messages and interpret actions is based on a platform of traumas. To work with each child, we need to find out how they see and hear what we do and say.
Of course, sitting down and getting to know someone is the best way to understand their preferred communication style, and we do that throughout every child's stay. We also use a tool based on the Five Love Languages (words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts) to understand how they feel most cared for.
However, the best information of all is the spontaneous stuff that shows that these kids are just kids. One of our wonderful staff, Cyrenica, shared what she learned about a young girl through this exercise.
“Hello y'all, Our new girl sat down with me and completed her love languages. Please take the time to get to know her. She also shared with me that she has seven cats, seven horses, three dogs, and many more animals at home. She helps take care of them and loves them dearly. She is a fan of Stranger Things and Taylor Swift. Please note that she wants to be a flight paramedic but is also afraid of heights (yes, she finds this ironic too 🙂) Thank you, Cyrenica.”
Just a kid being a kid while trying to overcome horrible trauma.
Please keep all the children and staff of Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch in your prayers.
In His love,
Joy Ryan, President/CEO
Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch
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