“I’m hangry!” she said to her therapist. And the therapist celebrated! So, here’s the rest of the story. First, I’ve raised three kids to adulthood. One thing I learned is that teenagers eat a lot. All the time. They are hungry shortly after a full meal. They are hungry before and after sports, church, and their favorite TV show. They are growing, their bodies are changing, and they are active.…
Kid Stories
Have you ever met someone for the very first time and had an immediate aversion to them? The poor person has not even said their name, and you are silently plotting a way to exit? Or, you meet someone, and afterward, you turn to a friend and say, “I don’t think I did anything wrong, but I get the distinct feeling she just doesn’t like me. I don’t know what that’s about.”…
I had a lot of Little Golden Books when I was little. My parents allotted a special, low shelf in the living room for what I called “my library.” I even tried to number them on their skinny spines as I’d seen numbers on the books at the big library. Those books are now in my family room in my mother’s old traveling suitcase. My grandkids love their simple stories and gentle illustrations.…
How would you finish this sentence? When I am happy, I would appreciate it if you… Once children have some time to acclimate and begin to feel comfortable at the Ranch, we sit down with them and complete the “Five Love Languages Profile Quiz” and a worksheet titled, “All About [INSERT NAME].” The worksheet gathers information about the child’s favorite colors and favorite snacks, the three most important things we should know about them, and more.…
In a recent issue of Ranch Voice, the feature article was about group treatment at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch. There are lots of solid, evidence-based treatment reasons for doing certain types of therapeutic work in groups. One of those reasons is that group members help hold each other accountable to the truth—here is just one example.…
Sometimes, working at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch can be tough. These kids have endured so much. They have experienced trauma and/or the ravages of mental illness – which is certainly a trauma in itself. They have developed behaviors and coping skills that are not healthy or good for them or others—behaviors and coping skills that have allowed them to survive.…
He was standing in the corner in the hallway of the school, crying really hard, with a Treatment Specialist by his side. I was confused. I had just seen this child in our chapel services at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch, and he was amazing. He had practiced with the adult who was leading the music and had played guitar and sang beautifully.…
Deep nasolabial folds are part of my family’s genetic profile. My mom and dad both had prominent ones, as do my siblings. They’re those wrinkles that run from the sides of your nose to the corners of your mouth. I am pretty sure they’ve always been there, but with the march of Father Time, mine are reaching new depths. Not yet Grand Canyon status, but perhaps the Columbia Gorge.…
Many kids come to Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch wearing their toughest attitudes and with challenging behaviors. They have worked so hard to survive their trauma and trauma environments that they have lost touch with their own core. They struggle to see their true selves.…
I love Christmas trees. I think they are a bold proclamation that we are celebrating the birth of our Lord. I think of them as a really big Birthday candle! You just can’t hide the fact that you’re celebrating Jesus' birth when you have a 4 or 6 or 8-foot reminder in the middle of your house.…
It is a pretty irrefutable statement that we all communicate differently. We send and receive messages in the context they make sense to us, based on our experiences. I would guess that you, and certainly I, have occasionally had to say, “That’s not at all what I meant. What I was trying to say is….”…
The staff who work directly with the children at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch will probably never know the great impact they have had on children’s lives. When our children leave the care of the Ranch, unless they choose to reach back, we may never hear from them again. That’s a good thing. They move on with their lives.…
It’s Friday afternoon, and I am in my office replaying the time I spent with the surprise visitor who stopped by this morning. About 9 a.m. I heard Karen, one of the women I work with, greeting someone at her office door. Karen is a sincerely kind person who is always gracious to everyone, but I could hear something special in her voice. I eavesdropped a little, and it was soon evident she was talking to a past resident. “Are you working now?” “So, you have your own apartment?” “You look really good!”…
The mission of Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch always has been, and I believe always will be, “to help at-risk children and their families succeed in the name of Christ.” Very simple and straightforward. Right? Well, maybe not. Success is defined by many different variables: money, education, career, marital status, family, sobriety, healthy living, etc.…
I write a lot. I write reports and emails and presentations and columns. However, my favorite writing is personal notes on cards designed by our kids.…
The relationships our staff build with children are what allow the care we provide and our Christ-centered focus to do their work. It all starts with relationships that build trust. It starts with shared and new experiences.…
A little girl, 11 years old, came into the dining room for breakfast one day last week. She had tears running down her cheeks, and her face was red. Christy, a phenomenal cook with a kind spirit, saw one of our Ranch employees trying to comfort her while making sure the other kids got their breakfast.…
“Kids don’t really think about suicide, do they?” or “Kids just want attention, they can’t really want to die.” Even with all the media coverage of children’s mental health, I'm still asked questions like these.…
I am not an athlete. Oh, I work out. That’s not the same as being an athlete. An athlete has grace, stamina, field awareness, and coordination. Those I don’t have. I can lift heavy things, but that’s about as far as it goes.…
Jeremiah* yells a lot. He deserves to. Jeremiah came to us with a history of horrendous, unspeakable trauma at the hands of his biological parents. He was too little to do anything to protect himself except cry and yell.…
No matter how difficult things are at home, driving away from the Ranch without your child is not easy. "It was scary taking that leap of faith. We didn't know what to expect, and as we drove away, my mom heart was just sad and apprehensive," said Meredith, mother of former Ranch resident, Blaise.…
This is the season of graduations, and that is true at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch as well. Our on-site school, Dakota Memorial School, celebrates our graduates in style! Most of the children who come to the Ranch return to their home school districts when they leave our care. Some continue their education here through graduation. Others come here only for Day School, never being in residential care. Each one works incredibly hard to graduate. They are smart, but most learn differently than other schools teach. Here they can find success.…
I bought a really crazy red coat. People donate wonderful things to the Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch Thrift Stores. The Thrift Stores have a two-pronged purpose. First and foremost, each year the thrift stores generate income for Ranch programs which provide hope and healing for troubled, complicated, and amazing kids.…
He just about knocked me over. I was going into the front door of our school on our Bismarck Campus and struggling to get my keys organized when a strong, athletic 15-year-old body slammed into my side and wrapped me in a bear hug. In high heels and a heavy winter coat, I almost lost my balance, much less my breath.…
As she graduated from Dakota Memorial School in May 2022, Stacy used her graduation speech to address current and future Ranch residents. Her words speak for themselves.…